For all who appreciate the outdoors . .. . the rarely photographed South Florida Squirrel.


...Last week, we weren’t able to get our photostories on Olde 
Effingham Days in the paper due to space considerations. (We’re just 
not selling enough advertising these days!) This week, we weren’t 
going to have room for the Stand Up For America Day pictures  as 
well. But I made one of those dramatic Executive Decisions that 
really ticks Allison off, and added four pages to the paper at the 
last minute (making her day twice as difficult!). Those photostories 
can be found on pages B8 and B9.

...I bumped into one of my neighbors while I was taking the trash 
out the other day, and he told me he’s been missing Michael Guido in 
our paper lately. As always, I had to ask Allison what happened, and 
she explained that we didn’t get his articles April, but we’ve got 
them for May. You’ll find his article on page A19.

...Mark Parker passed along the
Top 8 Moron Prizes Of 2007

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked 
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. 
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman 
who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas 
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them 
in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
       An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a 
motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller 
machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his 
own bank       accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the 
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he 
tied up the store clerk and worked the counter
himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just 
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each 
man in the lineup to repeat the words:
"Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's
not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMU NICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her 
contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" 
the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold 
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a 
finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand 
in his pocket.

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!   Last summer, at Lake Isabella, located in 
the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to 
boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they
couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very
sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they 
applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted 
into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them 
what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything
in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went 
up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, 
one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath He 
came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

...“When you  were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your 
life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you 
rejoice!”

...Take care this week, stay safe, and in the words of the great Red 
Skelton, “May God Bless.”